Google’s New Pander Update Targets Sycophants

If your website engages in servile flattery, or any sort of fawning for gain, Google’s got your number. It’s newest search update, dubbed “Pander,” was rolled out today and already some major players are feeling the effects. While it wouldn’t reveal exact numbers, career advice site bootlicker.com reported most of its pages had significantly dropped in rank within hours of the algorithm’s release.

Some are dismissing the update as an attempt by Google to curry favour with users tired of poor quality search results. But an insider with the company, Muriel Heep, who insisted her name be used, revealed that this is “the greatest thing to happen to search, from the greatest company I’ve ever worked for.”